100+ comedy shayari, (हास्य शायरी) :- वो इश्क़ मे यारो कमाल कर बैठी लिख कर “I love you” send to all कर बैठी!!!

Whatsapp funny status shayari 

हम आपके लिए कुछ ऐसे मजेदार चुटकुले लेकर आए हैं, जिन्हें पढ़ने के बाद आप हंसते-हंसते लोटपोट हो जाएंगे। तो चलिए शुरू करते हैं हंसने-हंसाने का ये सिलसिला...

(1)  हसीनों से मिलें नज़रें अट्रैक्शन हो भी सकता है, चढ़े फीवर मोहब्बत का तो एक्शन हो भी सकता है, हसीनों को मुसीबत तुम समझ कर दूर ही रहना, ये अंग्रेजी दवाएं हैं रिएक्शन हो भी सकता है..!!

(2)  जिंदगी में सिर्फ ‘पाना’ ही सबकुछ नहीं होता, उसके साथ नट-बोल्ट भी चाहिए । – प्रवीण मिस्त्री

(3)  यहां खुदा है, वहां खुदा है, आस पास खुदा ही खुदा है, और जहां खुदा नहीं है, वहां कल खुदेगा । – नगरपालिका

(4)  वो इश्क़ मे यारो कमाल कर बैठी लिख कर “I love you” send to all कर बैठी!!!

(5)  पत्नी अर्धांगिनी होती है, इसलिए उसे आधी जानकारी ही दें, जीवन के आधे कष्ट कम हो जायेंगे....

(6)  Aaj ke yug me sirf wahi log sharif hai, Jinke mobile me password nahi hai !!!

(7)  Naa jane kaun sa virus hai teri yaado me, Tujhko sochta hu to hang sa ho jata hu…

(8)  अपनी इंडिया में सरकार हो या शादी, सबको एक साल में खुश खबरी चाहिए..।

(9)  पगली प्यार दिखाएगी तो प्यार पाएगी

एट्टीटुड दिखाएगी तो थप्पड खाएगी..

(10)  Arrange marriage के भी अपने फायदे है –

कभी कभी ऐसी लडकी से शादी हो जाती है,

जिसे लडका खुद सात जन्म तक नहीं पटा सकता......

(11)  Ek dukhi girlfriend ne, Apne boyfrnd ke liye Shayari likhi….. . . . Phoolo ka raja, Baharo ka shahzada.. Phoolo ka raja baharo ka shahzada . . Dil todh kar chala gaya.. KUTTA KAMINA HARAMZADA

(12)  कौन ‘कमबख्त’ कहता है, लड़के सोचते कम हैं . . . . . . . . लड़की एक बार मुस्करा कर तो देखे शेरवानी के रंग से लेकर बच्चों तक के नाम सोच लेते हैं।

(13)  Ankhon se barsaat hoti hain Jab apki yaad saath hoti hai, Jab b busy rahe mera cell to Samajh lena aapki hone wali Bhabhi se meri baat hoti hain

(14)  Jailer – Suna hain tum Shayar ho Kuch sunao yaar . . . . Qaidi – “Gum-E-Ulfat me jo zindagi kati humari Jis din jamanat huyi zindagi khatam tumhari”

(15)  Jis Hospital ke Hum Doctor hain, Humari Patni Waha ki Nurse hain Kya ajeeb julm sahna padta hain Apni hi Biwi ko Sister kehna padta h.....

(16)  Chali jati hain wo beauty parlour mein yun,

Unka maksad hain misaal-e-hoor ho jana..

Ab kon samjhaye en ladkiyo ko

Mumkin nahi kishmish ka fir se angur ho jana

(17)  लड़कियो को HOT बोल बोल ke बेमतलब सूर्य देवता से पंगा ले लिया अब वो पूछ रहे है कि अब बता HOT कौन ???

(18)  Mohabbat mein jab mujhey Dhoka mila,

Toh zindagi me charo aur udasi cha gayi,

Socha tha ki AAG laga dunga es duniya ko

Par kambhakt colony mein dusri aa gayi :)

(19)  Student Shayari On Exams –

Charo aur padayi ka saya hain,

Saare paper mein zero aaya h,

Hum to yuhi chal dete h bina muh

dhoye exam dene,

Aur log kehte hain, Sala raat bhar

padh ke aaya hai......

(20)  Koi najro se ishara kar leta hain, Koi aankho se kuch kah deta hain Bada hi muskil ho jata h jawab dena Jab koi English me baat kar leta hai......

(21)  zindagi ki bhaag daud raaste badal jate hai Tez hawa mein sahil ke kinare badal jate hai Aksar sochta hu padh-2 ke sare record tod du Par kitaab kholte hi iraade badal jate hain.....

(22)  Bindas muskurao kya gam hai,

Zindgi me tension kisko kam hai,

Yaad karne wale to bahut hai aapko,

Dil se ‘TANG’ karne wale to sirf HUM hai.

(23)  Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho,

Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho,

Kitni aasani se jaan le lete ho,

Kisi ne sikhaya hai.. ya bachpan se hi kamine ho?

(24)  Dhadkan Dil Ki Ruk Jati Hai,

Sanse Aksar Tham Jati Hai,

Bahut Buri Halat Hoti Hai Yaaro,

Jab GF Se Shaadi Karne Ki Naubat Aati Hai!

(25)  Mohabbat Karli Tumse Bahut Sochne Ke Baad,

Ab Kisi Ko Dekhna Nahi Tumhe Dekhne Ke Baad,

Duniya Chhod Denge Tumhe Pane Ke Baad,

Khuda Maaf Kare Itna Jhooth Bolne Ke Baad!

(26)  Hum dua karte hain Khuda se,

ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye,

Ek Cartoon jaisi cheez hai humare paas,

kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye!

(27)  Chhod diye wo kam jinke galat the anjam,

Ab kuchh din nek kamo me bitayenge,

Aur 12th pass karne ke baad hi,

Koi nayi ladki ptayenge.

(28)  Na Need Aaye Raaton Ko,

Na Chaen Aaye Din Bhar,

Khuda Se Puchha Maine..

Kya Ye Pyar Ka Bukhaar Hai?

Khuda Ne Jawaab Diya..

Arre Nahi Garmi Mei Sabka Hi Aesa Haal Hai.

(29)  Na Muskurane Ko Jee Chahta Hai,

Na Kuch Khane-Peene, Na Sone Ko Jee Chahta Hai,

Ye Garmi Ab Bardaast Nahi Hoti,

Sab Chhod Kar Ab Shimla Chale Jane Ko Jee Chahta Hai.

(30)  Aaj tum par aansuo kee barsaat hogi,

Phir wohi andheri kaali raat hogi,

Yaad naa karke tumne dil dukhaaya hain mera,

Jaa tere badan me khujali saari raat hogi!

(31)  Taza hawa ka jhoka aaya,

Kushbu tere sath laya,

Phir mere dil me khayal aaya,

Ke lagta hay ki,

Aaj bhi tu..

Nahi ‘NAHAYA’

(32)  Yaad karte hai tumhe tanhai mein,

Dil duba hai gamo ki gahrai mein,

Hume mat dhundo duniya ki bheed mein,

Hum milenge tumhe fir kisi,

Free SMS ki scheme mein.

(33)  The most ‘Sharmnaak’ thing these days is to

say…

.

.

.

. .

.

that, “I’m not on WhatsApp”..

(34)  Har taraf padhai ka saya hai,

Kitabo main sukh kisne paya hai,

Ladke to jate hai tution ladkiyan dekhne,

Aur sir kehte hai dekho itni barsat mai ladka padhne aya hai.

(36)  Dil sapno se ‘HOUSEFULL’ hai..

Pura hona bhi ‘DOUTFULL’ hai..

Is duniya me har chiz ‘WONDERFULL’ hai..

Kyuki life tum jaise dosto se ‘COLOURFULL’ hai..

(37)  Kisi shayar ne kaha..

Zindagi ek lamba safar hai,

Kisi aashiq ne kaha..

Zindagi ek mushkil paheli hai,

Are dosto zindagi ka arth toh sirf voh bata sakta hai,

Jiski shaadi ke baad bhi koi saheli hai!!

(38)  indagi behaal hai,

Sur hai na taal hai,

Msg box bhi kangal hai,

kya aapki sms factory me hartal hai,

Yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai.

(39)  Hume tumse Love hai..

Please refuse na karna..

Ye zero watt ka hope bulb hai..

Please ise fuse na karna!!!

(40)  Aap baago k sab se hasin gul hai,

Hum to bas aap ke kadmo ki dhul hai,

Ab jada gurur mat karna kyoki ..

Aaj april fool hai.

(41)  Aisa dostana hamara,

Main kashti tu kinara,

Main dhanush tu teer,

Main matar tu paneer,

Main varsha tu badal,

Main rajma tu chawal,

Main hot tu cool,

Main april tu fool.

(42)  Ishq K Khayaal Bohat Hain..

Ishq K Charche Bohat Hain..

Sochte Hain Hum Bhi Kar Le Ishq..

Par Sunte Hain Ishq Mein Kharche Bohat Hain..

(43)  Sitaro mein aap,

Hawao mein aap,

Fizao mein aap,

Baharo mein aap,

Dhop mein aap,

Chaaon mein aap,

Sach hi suna hai ki buri aatmao ka koi thikana nahi hota.

(44)  Aapki yaad mein ek shair arz kiya hai..

Aaj hai mangal, kal tha peer..

Wah wah…

Aja hai mangal, kal tha peer..

Kabhi to kuchh bheja kar ‘FAQEER’.

(45)  Wo kehti apne bhaiyyo se,

Mere aashiq ko yu naa peeto..!!

.

.

.

.

.

Badaaa jiddi hai ye saala,

Pehle kutte ki tarah ghaseeto..!!

(46)  Aapki yaad mein humne nai kalam uthai,

Liya paper aur tasveer aapki banai,

Socha tha ki usko sambhaal kar rakhenge,

Magar wo to baccchon ko darane ke kaam aayee.

(47)  Humne unki tasveer apne man manidir mein saja li,

Unki yaadein aapne dil mein basa li,

Lekin jub unhone humein koi tawazzo na di,

To humne bhi unki chhoti behen phasa li.

(48)  Dil ka dard dil todne wala kya jaane,

Pyar ke rivazon ko ye zamaana kya jaane,

Kitni takleef hoti hai ladki patane mein,

Yeh ghar baitha ladki ka baap kya jaane.

(49)  Unki gali se mera janaza nikla,

Wo na nikle jinke liye janaza nikla,

Unka ghar aaya to mere dost siti bajane lage,

Rakh ke mera janaza kamine usko patane lage.

(50)  Larki Ro Ro K Larkay Se

Keh Rahi Hai,

Larki Ro Ro K Larke Se

Keh Rahi Hai,

Haath Chooro Jan..

Meri Naak Beh Rahi Hai.

Happy Winter Season

Aaaa….chhii

(51)  Winter Shayari (Crazy one) Arz kiya hai..

Baith ke toilet mein nawab ke jaise..

Sardi ke mausam mein sochtaa hu aise..

Baith ke toilet mein nawab ke jaise..

Sardi ke mausam mein sochtaa hu aise.

Ki kar to li hai tune beta….abb thande paani se dhoega Ka ise..

(52)  Mujhe Mat Dhudo Is Jahan

Ki Tanhai Mein

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Thand Bahut Hai Mein To

Hun Apani Rajai Mein

(53)  Aaj Ek Sweater Aur Pehen Lo,

Aaj Ek Razai Aur Odh Lo,

Aaj Ek Mufler Aur Lapet Lo,

Aaj 2 Moze Aur Pehen Lo,

Aaj Ek Kehwa Aur Pii Lo,

Aaj Ek Heater Aur Chala Lo,

Kya Pta. Kal Thand Ho Na Ho!

(54)  Thandi Ka Ek Fayeda Hai ?

?

?

Kya Soch Rahe Ho ?

?

?

Bas Ek He Fayeda Hai ?

?

?

Garmi Nhi Lagte.

HAPPY WINTER SEASON…

(55)  Uff Sardii..

.

.

.

.

.

.

Jab Upr Likha Hai K Sardi Hai

To Neechay Konsa Heater Laga

Hy Jo Dekh Rhay Ho….??

Winter Ki Pehli Bezti Mubark Ho…

(56)  Kadam kadam pe hawa ki aahat ka dhyan rakhna,

Mushkil samay mein bhi iss dost ko yaad rakhna,

Hamari yaadon ki khushboo zaroor aayegi,

Tum bus apni naak saaf rakhna.

(57)  Tu kahe to chaand taare tod du,

Tu kahe to bandh darwaaje khol du,

Tu kahe to yeh duniya chhod du,

Tu ek baar haske to dekh mere dost,

Tere saare gande daanton ko tod du.

(58)  Tumhe kya pata ke gum kya hai,

Tumhe kya pata gum kise kehte hain,

Tum kya jaano gum kya cheez hain,

Kyonki…

Tumne to hamesha THOOK se hi envelop chipkaya hai.

(59)  Aaj kal tum mushkurati bahut ho,

Mere dil ko bhaati bahut ho,

Dil kehta hai le jaaun tumhen dinner pe,

Par suna hai tum khaati bahut ho!

(60)  Tumse mil kar ho gaya zindagi se pyar,

Ab humein chhod kar mat jana yaar,

Bin tere hum jee na paayenge,

Tum na hoge to hum ULLU kise banayenge.

(61)  Arz kiya hai, zara gaur farmaiyega,

Naa hi zaroorat hai sitaron ki,

Naa hi zaroorat hai faltu yaaron ki,

Ek dost chahiye aapke jaisa,

Jo watt laga de Hazaron ki.

(62)  Tumko dekha to khayaal aaya,

Tumko dekha to khayaal aaya,

Tumko dekha to khayaal aaya,

Paglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya.

(63)  Jab jab ghire badal teri yaad aayi,

Jab jhoom ke barsa sawan teri yaad aayi,

Jab-jab mein bhiga teri yaad aayi,

Ab raha nahin jata, Chhatri lauta de Bhai.

(64)  Chhup gaya badli mein jaake,

Chaand bhi sharma gaya,

Chhup gaya badli mein jaake,

Chaand bhi sharma gaya,

Aur aapko dekha to,

Bhooton ko paseena aa gaya.

(65)  Ansoon tere nikle aur aankhein meri ho,

Dil tera dhadke aur dhadkane meri ho,

Khuda kare hamaari dosti itni gehri ho,

Ki naukri tum karo aur salary meri ho.'

(66)  Tum door sahi majboor sahi,

Par yaad tumhari aati hai,

Jab saans wahan par leti ho,

To badboo yahaan tak aati hai.

(67)  Aaj mausam mein ajeeb si baat hai,

Bekabu se hamare khayalaat hain,

Jee chahata hai chura loon aap ko aapse,

Par mummy kehati hai chori karna paap hai.

(68)  Tere chehre pe udasi aankhon mein nami hai,

Tere chehre pe udasi aankhon mein nami hai,

TATA namak istemal karo

Kyun ki IODINE ki kami hai.

(69)  Tujhe pane ke liye kuchh bhi kar sakta hu,

Tere pyar mein jee aur mar sakta hu,

Phir bhi tu nahi mili to koi gham nahi,

Yeh formula dusri pe bhi try kar sakta hu.

(70)  Dhoka mila jab bhi pyar mein,

Zindgi mein udasi chaa gayi,

Socha tha chhor denge is raah ko,

Kambakht phir ek new number se miss call aa gayi.

(71)  Gori paan na khaya karo,

Honthon pe laali aati hai,

Gori paan na khaya karo,

Honthon pe laali aati hai,

By God,

Tera wazan dekh ke meri jaan nikal jaati hai.

(72)  Tere khoobsurat aankhon mein

Aansoo achche nahin lagte,

Chaahe jitnaa bhi roye lekin

Kabhi sachche nahin lagte.

(73)  Chiragon mein agar noor na hota,

To tanha dil itna majbur na hota,

Kasam se hum aapse milne zarur aate,

Agar aapka aashiyana itni door na hota.

(74)  Muskurana to har ladki ki adaa hai,

Muskurana to har ladki ki adaa hai,

Use jo mohabbat samjhe,

Woh sabse bada gadha hai.

(75)  Har nazar ko ek nazar ki talash hai,

Har chehre mein kuchh to ehsah hai,

Aapse dosti hum yun hi nahi kar baithe,

Kya karen hamari pasand hi kuchh KHAAS hai.

(76)  Apni raah khud chuno,

Dil jo kahe vahi karo,

Apne peechche walon ko aage mat jane do,

Aur jo aage hain unse aage niklo,

Tabhi ek achche rikshaw waale ban paaoge.

(77)  Jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye,

Husan ke tevar nukeele ho gaye,

Hum izhar karne me thode dhele ho gaye,

Aur udhar unke hath peele ho gaye.

(78)  Lamha Lamha karke waqt guzar jayega,

7 fero ka sathi tumse bandh diya jayega,

Abhi bhi waqt hai yaaro kisi ko pata lo,

Kya pata kal kisi ka pataya hua maal..

Tumhein saup diya jayega.

(79)  Kash pyaar ka insurance ho jata,

Pyar karne se pehle premium bharwaya jata,

Pyar mein wafa mili to theek warna,

Bewafaon pe jo kharcha hota uska claim to mil jata.

(80)  Marne pe hum dono ko jannat mile,

Yeh hava yeh bahar mile,

SMS karne mein kanjusi mat kar mere dost,

Pata nahi jannat mein signal mile ya na mile.

(81)  Marne pe hum dono ko jannat mile,

Yeh hava yeh bahar mile,

SMS karne mein kanjusi mat kar mere dost,

Pata nahi jannat mein signal mile ya na mile.

(82)  Log ishq karte hain bade shor ke saath,

Humne bhi kiya tha bade zor ke saath,

Magar ab karenge zara gaur ke saath,

Kyunki kal dekha tha use kisi aur ke saath.

(83)  Meri prem kahani ka kya ajeeb ending tha,

Meri prem kahani ka kya ajeeb ending tha,

Maine propose kia SMS se,

Kambakth woh uski shaadi tak pending tha.

(84)  Na chemistry hoti na main student hota,

Na ye lab hoti na ye accident hota,

Abhi practical mein aayi nazar ek ladki,

Sundar thi naak us ki test tube jaisi,

Baton mein us ki glucose ki mithas thi,

Sanson mein ester ki khushboo bhi sath thi,

Aankhon se jhalakta tha kuchh is tarah ka pyaar,

Bin piye hi ho jata hai alcohol ka khumar,

Benzene sa hota tha uski presence ka ehsaas,

Andhere mein hota tha radium ka abhas,

Nazrein mili, reaction hua,

Kuchh is tarah love ka production hua,

Lagne lage us ke ghar ke chakkar aise,

Nucleus ke charon taraf electron hon jaise,

Us din hamare test ka confirmation hua,

Jab us ke daddy se hamara introduction hua,

Sun kar hamari baat wo aise uchhal pade,

Ignesium tube mein jaise sodium bhadak uthe,

Woh bole, hosh mein aao, pehchano apni auqat,

Iron mil nahin sakta kabhi gold ke saath,

Ye sun kar tuta hamare armanon bhara beakar,

Aur ham chup rahe benzaldehyde ka kadwa ghoont pee kar,

Ab us ki yadon ke siwa hamara kam chalta na tha,

Aur lab mein hamare dil ke siwa kuchh jalta na tha.

(85)  Tajmahal kisi ke liye ek AJOOBA hai,

To kisi ke liye pyar ka EHSAS hai,

Hamare tumhare liye to BAKWAS hai,

Kyun ki ki roz badalti humari MUMTAZ hai.

(86)  Tumhari naam ki gazalein

Chand par likhne ko ji chahta hai.

Par kya karu yeh zalim

Khwab amavas ki raat ko hi aata hai.

(87)  Jab tum is duniya se jaoge,

Door kahin ek naya janam paoge,

Is baar jo hua bahut bura hua,

Agli baar tum ek lambi pooch aur chaar taang paoge.

(88)  Arz kiya hai…

LIC wale bhi kya gazab dhate hain,

LIC wale bhi kya gazab dhate hain,

Logon ki biwiyon ke paas ghanton baith k ..

Husband ke marne ke fayde batain.

(89)  Baithe hain tere khayalon mein,

Kagaz pe likha hai tera naam,

Kagaz pe teri tasveer laga ke,

Llikha hai yeh paigam,

Zinda ya murda pakadane wale ko,

Milega 50000 ka inaam.

(90)  Use karte hain make-up ka dabba roz kyun,

Ban sanwar kar nikalte hain roz kyun,

Mummy, tum to kehthi thi Eid to kab ki gayi,

Phir padosan se gale milte hain papa roz kyun.

(91)  Majnu ko laila ka sms nahi aaya,

Majnu ne teen din tak khana nahi khaya,

Majnu marne wala hai laila ke pyar mein,

Laila baithi hai sms free hone ke intazar mein.

(92)  Ishq hai to ishq ka izhar bhi hone chahiye,

Aadmi ko shakl se bimar bhi hona chahiye,

Yaadon ko keh do, do chaar din ki chhuti de de,

Akhir ishq mein itvaar bhi hona chahiye.

(93)  Ankho me aansu,

Chehre par hansi hai,

Saanso me aahein,

Dil me bebasi hai,

Pehle kyun nahi bataya ki,

Darwaje mein ungli fansi hai.

(95)  Dunia mein reh kar sapnon mein kho jaao,

Kisi ko apna bana lo ya kisi ke ho jaao,

Agar kuchh bhi nahi hota hai to,

Chadar-takiya lo aur so jaao.

(96)  Hum aaj bhi dil ka aashiyana sajaane se darte hain,

Baagon mein phool khilaane se darte hain,

Hamari ek pasand se toot jaayenge hazaron dil,

Tabhi to hum aaj bhi girlfriend banaane se darte hain.

(97)  Tere Pyar Me Umra Bhar Intazar Kiya,

Wah Wah…

.

.

Tere Pyar Me Umra Bhar Intazar Kiya,

.

.

Aur

Us Intazaar me Na Jane Kitno se pyar kiya,

.

Wah wah …

Kya baat kya baat.

(98)  Zindagi lambi hai dost banate raho,

Dil mile na mile haath milate raho,

Taj Mahal banaana toh bahut costly hoga,

Par har gali mai ek Mumtaz banate रहो..

(99)  Dost ruthe to rab ruthe,

fir ruthe to jag chhute,

agar fir ruthe dil tute,

aur agar fir ruthe?

nikal danda..

maar sale ko jab tak danda na tute.

(100)  Teri galiyo mein kadam nahi rakhe ge hum aaj ke bad

kyoki

kichad ho gaya hai barsat ke bad.....

ऐसी ही मजेदार पोस्ट के लिए यहा क्लिक करें :-